Five Minute Friday Link-up-Mercy

Directions from Link-up:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word. (On your blog or in the comments).

2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my blog footer}.

3. Go leave some comment props for the five minute artist who linked up before you. - See more at: Lisa Jo's Five Minute Friday Page

I'm doing this link-up because I suppose I want to torture myself. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, it often takes me some time before I press publish on a post, but this unedited stuff is made of vulnerability and truth and freedom.  So, here. we. go.

Today's prompt - Mercy.

8:43 GO.

Today may have been a rough day. It blurred by like a memory before my tired eyes. My head aching most of the day.

I sometimes sit at the end of a long day such as this one and have silent dialogue with myself when I should be discussing my day with the one who could right my wrongs and reassure this tired mamma that mercies are new every morning.  

I think of my littles and how I was just a bit too angry with my Nora when she smeared her nail polish all over the carpet in her brother's room, when I asked her 10 million times to stay still. As if a small excited child should ever HAVE to sit still.  Especially while looking at something as magical as pink painted nails. 

Or I think of how I was screaming at a little boy who was dancing to the music of the worship DVD I had on so excitedly, that he ignored me. 

Or getting angry with an infant for not staying still during a diaper change. Sigh.....   

Moments after my dialogue I spend some more time going back upstairs staring at their sweet faces and praying over their still bodies.  I can smell the nail polish and it reminds me of something she said, "I can't wait to show daddy." As I sit on her bed, I see one foot out because, "Daddy will want to see without waking me up."  I see the imperfect smears and her toes look honestly frightening, but she only sees beauty and I want to be more like a child.

Mercy - God showing this tired mama glimpses of what a child sees. An innocent, unscathed, joyous little girl with heart whole, untouched by the harsh world. Seeing only beauty in the mess.  And I see Mercy.  A God who sees this mama - this woman who had her heart torn to pieces long ago - who is a bit too quick to judge something as unlovely - as a beautiful masterpiece.  Lovely, with no flaw.  

A God who allows me a glimpse into the imperfect job I am doing with these precious babies - and reassures me tomorrow is a new day.  

A God who allows someone who spent most of her life running away from Him an opportunity to grow and learn in a home where Christ is the center. Married to a man who worships God and loves me - loves me so, so much. Raising children together that have a real shot at falling in love with Jesus.

Mercy - Giving me as many chances to get it right as I'll ever need, and holding me up and pushing me on the whole time.  

8:48 STOP

Go link-up too!  If you don't have a blog, I encourage you to try this too.  Leave your 5 minute Friday dialogue in the comment section below! Remember the rules and happy writing.