Monday, December 10, 2012

A baby changes everything...

That describes this Holiday season.  I am allergic to nuts.  I see them, and my throat just starts to get itchy.  So, I truly understand that silly sentiment that life times...nuts!

Last year, I had a newborn during the advent season.  Our Evan was born on November 30th, in all his infinite neediness, and life as parents of two children began, whether we were in the busiest season of a pastor's life or not.  I have to admit, leading up to the event, I was nervous.  I thought I would be drowning under the responsibilities of mothering two children, while my husband was away planning Christmas Eve services and telling the masses about the baby in the manger.  I worried (Yes, Christians worry) that I would not be able to care for them.  I even worried that I wouldn't be able to figure out how to put them both to bed!  

However, it felt surprisingly peaceful.  I didn't need to be anywhere or off solving anyone else's problems.  I was taking care of my family and myself as I recuperated from having a baby.  People brought us food and took care of small needs.  Our church family respected the fact that we just a had a baby, and allowed us the space needed to get through the transition.  In a season where I thought chaos would ensue, the meaning of the manger was magnified as I held our son and enjoyed Christmas.  I cried a lot.  I cried when I thought of Mary, and what it must have been like for her.  I cried when I heard about caring for a baby in a stable.  I cried when anyone sang about it.  I cried, thinking of Joseph, and how confused he must have been.  I cried when I realized the magnitude of the shepherds getting to meet the savior before anyone else and what a gift that must have been.  I just....cried.  Giving due credit to hormones, I am realistic that some of the actual crying may have been related to post pregnancy emotions, but I believe, because I was able to focus on Jesus and what really happened that night in Bethlehem, I was able to enjoy what we mean when we say,  "The reason for the season".  

So, what am I getting at???  I shouldn't have to have a brand new baby to be able to reflect on a specific baby.  I don't want to be worried about anything else but a baby.  A baby who was born into a world that hated him and eventually killed him.  A baby that had a mommy who loved him so much, but had to let him go.  I want to be slowed to a stop by a baby who was born to die for the sins of mankind, my sins.  A baby who grew to be a savior for me and for you.  I want to have this focus all of the time, but now, at Christmas time, I want to worship, with my whole heart, the truth that the love I have for that baby that was born just to die, should resonate with me more than plans, presents, or obligations.

What are YOU doing to focus on that baby??  


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