Lieberskimmer.....

I love my husband.   I see him daily working to better himself.  He works all of the time....to become a better follower of Christ, husband, father, and Pastor.  I am exhausted watching him.


We love this place called, "The Melting Pot".  It is a restaurant where you cook your own food....fondue!  We think it is awesome because it takes forever to eat.  Like almost 3 hours.  During those 3 hours, you can talk and visit with the person your with.  You are forced to talk!


After returning home from a GREAT date with my love, I realized that we haven't had a conversation, uninterrupted, since I don't even know when.  I mean, don't get me wrong, we have had conversations.  Conversations about time commitments, laundry, weather, the strange sound the car is making, the ridiculous medical bills that keep coming in the mail (I guess they want their money), the amount of dust under the couch accompanied by all the toys I found, the gym, how the kids are feeling, is Nora wheezing, what we are eating for dinner, how long we have until it is time to be at the church, poop (the kids, not ours), the color and frequency of it, spit-up, bath time, etc, etc.   What I didn't realize until last night is that we were lacking true conversation.  Married stuff.  Stuff that makes us feel connected the way God wants us to be.  The surprising thing was that it took about an hour to get into that conversation.  I almost felt awkward without 6 different distractions calling my name.


This whole revelation totally freaked me out.....I mean, why was it so hard to TALK?!?  He is my husband.  He has seen the best and the worst.  He kisses me hello and goodbye numerous times a day.  He knows how weird I am and still loves me and wants to hang out with me. :)    

I have heard and witnessed certain things pertaining to marriage during our calling to ministry that make my heart feel heavy.  I have seen very capable, wonderful people crumble under life's not so pleasant pressure to succumb to: "We just can't make it work."  I have waited and watched marriages fall apart because of pride, arrogance, and stubborn behaviors.   

Remember in the beginning of your relationship when just brushing up against each other by accident would cause shortness of breath?  The excitement of the phone ringing could send you into an emotional tizzy?  Thinking about that person was your favorite thing to do and you would actually lose sleep, caring not if you had a busy day ahead of you in the morning, to gain 2 more hours of phone time?!?!   


I recently found this on Focus on the Family:

In fact, a few years ago, 2 doctors actually presented at the Congress of Internal Medicine in Wiesbaden, Germany  the idea that lieberskimmer – love sickness – is a definite medical ailment complete with physical symptoms. 

At this point in your marriage, are you wondering where the "symptoms" went?  

Sustaining the emotional excitement of romance, or "being in love," can be difficult at best – and physically draining at worst.  The shimmer of courtship is often replaced with the realities of budget crunches and dirty diapers.


No one starts out thinking in about 4 years (after about 20-30 pounds, stress of children, stress of life, disappointments in life, disappointments in each other, diapers, exhaustion, bills, poverty, and/or sickness), "I will want to leave this person!"  Everyone thinks they are immune to this....or above it.  Truth is, it happens without you even knowing it is taking place, and Satan thinks it is funny.


Why all this?!?!  I realized that I wasn't working hard enough!  Date nights are important, conversations are essential and romance can be created and maintained through hard work and selflessness.  God cares about our marriage, He wants me to care about it, too.    

Marriage requires hard work.

......The harder the climb, the better the view....