Friday, October 4, 2013



What is the first thing that comes to your mind when here the word -  Attitude?

Say it out loud.........I'll wait.

Stop talking to yourself...people will think you're crazy. ;) what did you come up with?

I looked up the definition because I was curious to know exactly what it meant.

at·ti·tude - noun - a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior.

The phrase that gets me is 'settled way of thinking'. When I think of the word attitude, I instantly think - 'bad attitude'. When I think of it negatively.  I think of people with a bad attitude. I think of my children when they're exhibiting a bad attitude. I think of my behavior when I've had enough of antics of others, and in light of this 31 day challenge I have given myself, I think of my behavior in relation to my marriage.

For the month of October, in honor of Pastor Appreciation Month, I am writing every day (trying to at least) on topics related to my marriage. You can read about the challenge here. If you have missed some posts and you are just landing on this one, you can go back to the main page here.

My goal this month is to improve my marriage through appreciation of my husband. So, in relation to my attitude, what can I learn?

Here are some facts about attitude in accordance with the definition:

1. The way I am thinking can be read in the way I'm behaving.

If I am thinking that my husband should have done something that he didn't do, even if I am trying to pretend I don't care, my attitude or behavior with reflect what is in my heart.  Check out Proverbs 4:23. Working to guard my heart so that I don't have secret expectations that he isn't meeting because he can't read my mind will improve my attitude. I have learned in our marriage that just simply saying out loud what I would like him to help me with, creates a more happy environment.

2. My attitude governs the day.

I am a control freak. It is bad. Like, really bad. When things don't go my way, I have a bad attitude. This, unfortunately does not exclude my home. Ugh, I get upset even thinking about how unglued I become at times.  The bible speaks on this when the apostle Paul says, "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness" (Ephesians 4:22-24). God does not care if the trains are in the train bucket and if the shoes are in the shoe closet. He cares as to how I controlled my attitude in instructing my children so the whole house didn't become a hotbed of controversy.  My yelling and carrying on does not create a happy environment, and in the end, it's just not worth it!

3. My words have an ENORMOUS impact on my husband's ability to have a god day or a bad day. 

The power of what I say to my husband before he leaves for work, before he goes about his day or before he embarks on a new challenge carry tremendous impact.  I hate this truth, really, I do.The bible says so much on this on this. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” (NASB).
This verse provides three characteristics of wholesome speech: Wholesome words build people up. This is the meaning of the word “edification.” It’s the same word from which we get “edifice” or building. Other people, the Bible tells us, are temples (see 1 Corinthians 3:16 and 6:19).  I have the privilege of co-laboring with God to build these living cathedrals. Wholesome words are timely. The right words at the wrong time can be just as damaging as the wrong words. Words left unsaid can also be hurtful. It takes discernment to know when and if to speak. The right word spoken at the right time can make all the difference for my husband. Wholesome words provide grace. I take this as more than merely being generous or accommodating - though those are both important. I see grace as also the power of God to do His will (see Philippians 2:13). My words can either empower my husband and make him want to press on or diminish him and make him want to quit.

Improve my attitude will build my husband up, instead of break him down. I have noticed in my own life, that when my husband and I are not meshing well in the morning, my whole day feels sad. I go from thinking of him admirably to saying out loud what I am mad about. Manic! My attitude shows my children how I honor or dishonor my husband, their father, and changes my ability to impact the Kingdom for good.

Every day, I am shaping my reality of my husband by the attitude I exhibit in my home. The choice is mine. How will my attitude impact my husband?

Some humor to send you off.
.....sometimes, I guess my attitude could send me to the yard. ;)

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